2018 So Far

I’M LATE POSTING THIS BECAUSE LIFE!!

There are a few things that I intended on accomplishing this year. I have a list! (The real question is, when do I not have a list?!)

• Create a Savings Plan
  • I am using the Dave Ramsey methods, and I recommend his book Total Money Make over and the use of his envelope system. This is where you get your power back when it comes to spending and saving money! 

 

• I also upped my 52 weeks savings plan from just saving by what week it was in the year to attempting to take the 5,000.00 52 week money challenge. We will see how this will work out this year. I have faith! If you want to follow it is never too late to save a dollar and some!

 

• Be more committed to fitness
  • I now work out 4-5 times a week. I typically only can dedicate one hour to fitness in my day and I make sure It is worth it. I have a plan and a purpose. I just want to make sure that heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases are kept at bay. I also want legs like I had when I was in track. It is going to happen people! I joke with my friends all the time about how I want to look like edible arraignments LOL. Now even some of them are jumping on that whole snack bandwagon!
  • I follow some pretty inspiring people on the “Gram” @FitfoodieLe @FollowtheLita @MassyArias are a few people who I am truly inspired by. I feel like they offer something I can truly benefit and can learn from.
  • I plan to run 5 or more 5k runs this year as well.
• Utilize my power in saying No
  • *big sigh* Hi, my name is Sharde and I am a person who seems to over commit myself to everything. I am the go – to in my family, friends, and many others because, well my heart is that big. I sometimes forget about myself in that equation like, how am I going to be at two birthday parties that start within 30 minutes of each other? I have learned to send a “I can’t make it” Or a firm no with zero explanations. I feel empowered and like I am taking care of myself when I use the word no. There has to be a recharge period for me and a reset. If I do not take care of me, how will I be useful to anyone else.
• Graduate Grad School
  • I do not know if I have really mentioned to anyone BUT! I am in school. Inspiration behind is I intended on accomplishing this in 2014, but God had other plans for me that year. I had my daughter and put the degree on the back burner. I picked it up in the summer last year and I will complete the task this year! So far,  I have been doing great with my studies, and when the time is right, I will make moves that align with my career goals.

So far life has been great this year. I hope to cover some interesting topics on my blog, such as life or responsibility as a single mother, trying to have a fitness regimen while being a single mama, empowering yourself, and learning to go with the flow in those times that things do not go according to our plans.  Hope that someone can take my life lessons and apply them to their life.

“A healthy you is the best gift you can give your family emotionally, spiritually, and 

mentally.”

-Joyce Meyer

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Hey there!

I have not posted on my blog in some time. Months actually. If you are wondering why, it was because I had nothing positive to say. Absolutely nothing. I had nothing encouraging to say because I was in need of encouragement myself. I guess you could say a part of me did not want to blog because if I were to be candid, I would be airing my dirty laundry and possibly disrupting my peace, another part of me was suffering in silence.  Those selfies I have been posting on Instagram and Facebook, well they were happy moments but deep inside I was living in hell, living in torment, and praying to God for relief of it all. I was waiting on someone to save me from the trials and tribulations I found myself in. A super hero in a cape with extra starch. Once I came to the conclusion that no one was going to save me but myself, I began to try to rebuild. I turned to the best thing I could, my spirituality. My faith. My God. I needed to lean into him more than ever in my time of need. In this turbulent moment in my life.

What was it that was tormenting me? A custody case. It has been the the thorn in my side. I tried to fake it, smile through it all. The truth. I struggled and I find myself still struggling through it. When the communication breaks down between two parents, the results can be absolutely awful. When you experience disagreement to this level, sabotage takes hold. It would give me great pleasure to find a medium and co-parent peacefully. When you are involved with someone who is emotionally driven and convinced you are an enemy, there is no way co-parenting can take place.

So, the best thing I can do is accept the things I cannot change. I accept that this is a flawed situation. I speak into existence that things will turn around and get better and we will find our channel to communicate properly. I pray that we will spend our money on our child versus our lawyers and other frivolous things that come with custody issues. I have learned, I can only control my peace, my sanity, and my actions and cannot wish, ask, or request that others comply and do the same. I must accept that things will be this way for some time. Is this what I thought parenthood would be? tumultuous? Absolutely not. I know there are no perfect formulas or magic potions to getting it right.

Overall I had to check my feelings, outside of this situation was my life happy? Absolutely. Did I have to breathe life into the situation? No. So I made a choice. To feed nothing and I mean nothing into the situation. To let the thing die. So Sunday is the only interaction that I have with my child’s Father and that is even minuscule. He is to place his daughter in her car seat and have zero interaction with me.  This is not what I envisioned co-parenting to be, but it is required to be this way for some time. I choose not to air the grievances I have with him in full detail, but I am not in high approval of his actions, and others on his behalf, because they do not benefit our daughter and her well being period. I am convinced that he is upset about something and he is seeking revenge of some sort without looking at what the cost is. You(at least for me) have to get to that pivotal point in your life where you ask, What is best for our daughter? Do I want peace, or do I want to be right? What does peace cost and what does being right cost? That is something he will have to figure out . For me I choose peace. it is free, fabulous, fantastic, and gives me life. It gives me the ability to focus on the precious time that my daughter is growing. She is learning and growing so fast. I do not want it to wiz by me and I am focused on custody issues.

Now that I am in a more positive place, I feel redeemed. Freed and I can now share the wonderful moments and accounts that I have with my daughter as well as the adventures of living life in the 30 year old lane. Life is great and short, and I intend to be intentional about living a really good life. Praise God for clarity and grace, without it I would not have been able to get to this pivotal most freeing moment in my life. My custody case is not over, hopefully the end of it is in the early part of November, but I have moved past it.

Perfectly Imperfect!

 

As my child is fast approaching her first year of amazing life, I have learned some things. I embrace all the imperfections I once thought I never would. I embrace the fact that I may hit the snooze button on my seven alarms at 6am which is when I should be walking out the door. I embrace the fact that the clothes may not get folded and put in the proper place. Who cares when they are clean! I embrace the fact that a home cooked meal may be a Tuna sandwich and chips sometimes. I set the bar pretty high for myself when I first became a Mom. See, we are all taught to do our absolute best and aim for perfection in this life (At least I was), and at first, I took this approach. It worked for my singular self and it worked very well! I had great success! Being a Mom, however, it was sustainable at first, but like most Moms finding their stride, I realized that there is so much beauty in living in the moment and not focusing on being perfect.

Perfect does not mean you did it all and achieved. Look at all the in between. I woke up late, great! I get more snuggle time with my baby girl! London blew up her diaper, yes, inconvenient! Hey! I got to bathe and look my baby in her eyes and kiss on her as I made her stinkies all fresh. I wake up with a simple prayer in my heart before she stirs, “Lord thank you for allowing me to see another day, to be a parent to my daughter, to help me to learn what appreciation is, thank you for everyone you have placed in my life and may you bless them as well as you will bless me.” These imperfect moments have taught me to be grateful for all I have and helped me focus on learning that life is richer when every little thing is appreciated. This is not to say that I do not get flustered. I have plenty of character building (Attitude adjusting) opportunities. I’ve learned from past mistakes and present victories to pray! “Lord what is it that you are wanting to teach me? What is it that I am needed to achieve to grow ?”  I have learned in this year of parenting to have an extreme appreciation for life. To not take it all for granted. At one time, I did not have the relationships, the ties, the joy that I have today. I once had no clue how happy my life could be. I found that the more I focus on God, the more enriched and blessed my life becomes, the more peace I have. My fruits are bearing some things and it took some pain to get to this place of growth. I look forward to becoming increasingly more grateful in my life as parenting is teaching me to be transparent, to be upfront and to live and embrace what I have.

Now, it was by God’s grace that I made it out the house at 6:13am with London and myself fully dressed for our day today. (Really Really though). But I sit back and I can laugh at the fact that I got out the door! Thought I would add that since it is my praise report for today! (VICTORAAAAYYYY)

2015

Well I made it another year,

I left all of my difficulties that I was having in 2014. 2014 was a great year, and also a true learning experience when it came to who I was emotionally. I learned that my heart could swell more than I could imagine for my child, I learned that my heart is still compassionate, that I still could care about other individuals other than myself. That is in terms of friends and family that have really been there to help me with my transition from being just one individual to a mother. In 2014, I found that my connection with God grew. That I need God to center my life, I am learning to trust his timing and his will and to not look at my life plan that I want when I want it. I learned that that is how you block blessings. I have learned to emotionally let go of what I cannot control, to  understand that the picture in my head of how my life is supposed to be does not align with what God wants for me, and also, what my reality is. Focusing on his will and timing is key to peace. I have learned to accept my reality and that truly took, prayer, reading the bible, and talking it out to come to that conclusion.

I’ve learned that I must stand up for myself, no matter what or who persecutes me , that I have a voice and it matters too. I have learned to say no, and saying no for me is very difficult. I am learning saying no to someone can truly show who they are. I have also learned to edit myself and not to be as descriptive, that no matter how hard I try to explain how good or honest my intentions are, that there are those who just want to argue, or are committed to misunderstanding me.

2014 also showed me that I am strong, strong as hell. Most people would cry with some of the things that have been thrown at me. I mean the kitchen sink, the washer and dryer, everything you can imagine has tried to test me. I have learned not to react emotionally, that although my feelings are important and are valid, that my child comes before all of that and nothing will ever compromise that. I have learned that I am a Mama Bear in every essence, that my child will bring out the protective instincts that a mother has and is very  surprising but a very powerful force to be reckoned with.

 

I have also learned that my purpose and my child’s purpose in others lives is to enrich it and make it better, but it is up to those people to be open to accepting blessings or blocking them. That my child is here to center and grow my life as well as her other parent. I have learned that  the whole idea of how a family should look like in my head might not be my path, but a blended family may be my destination.

I have grown, and I have so much more growing to do and with God, and growing my faith in him and learning to be a good example of a woman to my daughter and focusing on those things, will make for a really good life. 2014 was good, but something tells me that 2015 is going to be amazing. My tests, trials, and tribulations will continue, but as long as I look to my faith and surround myself with people who want to see me succeed and will tell me when I am making mistakes to help me see what is more important, then I cannot lose.I have some goals for 2015 and they are already being worked on. Growing my faith, being the best mother I can be, focusing on being happy for what I do have, being joyful, encouraging others, being me! Oh and fabulous hair!

 

How do you think 2015 will be to you?

 

Photocredit: http://stock-wallpapers.com/

A letter to my daughter

Hello London,

You are currently 2 months old and I have to say I love you to pieces. You are the joy of my life. I never thought my heart could swell so big, I never knew I could love so big, and you, yes you young lady are the cause of it. I think back on your journey into my life, and I believe you were brought here to give me a purpose. Some of that purpose is to pour into you, all of the good qualities I hold and, all of the ones I want you to have. You will be a wonder. You will be amazing. You are truly a blessing that inspires me to do better. You are motivation. I cannot wait to show you what success is, and that the climb to it is the hardest, but most important part. I think that everyone’s life you come into, you bring happiness . I only expected you to bring joy into my life and now I see that the happiness you give me expands into others lives.  When I prayed for joy and happiness in my life, it came in the most unexpected way, you. When you 1st arrived, I was unsure of what to do. Those big pretty eyes opened, and showed me that love still exists, it is still a reality. Now I know why children enrich a persons life, I now have 1st hand experience. Daughter, I want you to know God, I want you to know faith, I want to you to know that prayer works. Your existence is the proof. I love you London P. Tucker with all of my heart. Muah.

Post Baby Body

I know that most women do not post their post baby bodies, but I will. Yes, I have stretchmarks and yes, my linea nigra still present (dark line down your belly you can get while pregnant), but I want to tell you, working out pre baby, and eating well, and breast feeding post baby really works. I could have really had an awesome post baby body, had I worked out during my pregnancy, but I did not. I am happy to say I lost all but 4lbs of my baby weight and my post baby body is leaner, my waist has shrunk tremendously.

Having a baby can be complicated,  especially when you are induced, and your epidural gives out during labor. Fun times. I commend any woman who had a natural delivery. It is NOT for the weary.  But the joy you recieve from bringing life in this world is something I just cannot put into words. My transition from a singular person to a woman with a child was seamless. I was “built for this” in the words of my child’s father. Here is my little bundle of joy, London Paige. WARNING! She is absolutely adorable! She is one month old as of recent and we are both learning the ins and outs of eachother and breast feeding.  It’s awesome to give your child nourishment and watch them grow. It’s something a bond that only me and my little one share. All smiles.