2018 So Far

I’M LATE POSTING THIS BECAUSE LIFE!!

There are a few things that I intended on accomplishing this year. I have a list! (The real question is, when do I not have a list?!)

• Create a Savings Plan
  • I am using the Dave Ramsey methods, and I recommend his book Total Money Make over and the use of his envelope system. This is where you get your power back when it comes to spending and saving money! 

 

• I also upped my 52 weeks savings plan from just saving by what week it was in the year to attempting to take the 5,000.00 52 week money challenge. We will see how this will work out this year. I have faith! If you want to follow it is never too late to save a dollar and some!

 

• Be more committed to fitness
  • I now work out 4-5 times a week. I typically only can dedicate one hour to fitness in my day and I make sure It is worth it. I have a plan and a purpose. I just want to make sure that heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases are kept at bay. I also want legs like I had when I was in track. It is going to happen people! I joke with my friends all the time about how I want to look like edible arraignments LOL. Now even some of them are jumping on that whole snack bandwagon!
  • I follow some pretty inspiring people on the “Gram” @FitfoodieLe @FollowtheLita @MassyArias are a few people who I am truly inspired by. I feel like they offer something I can truly benefit and can learn from.
  • I plan to run 5 or more 5k runs this year as well.
• Utilize my power in saying No
  • *big sigh* Hi, my name is Sharde and I am a person who seems to over commit myself to everything. I am the go – to in my family, friends, and many others because, well my heart is that big. I sometimes forget about myself in that equation like, how am I going to be at two birthday parties that start within 30 minutes of each other? I have learned to send a “I can’t make it” Or a firm no with zero explanations. I feel empowered and like I am taking care of myself when I use the word no. There has to be a recharge period for me and a reset. If I do not take care of me, how will I be useful to anyone else.
• Graduate Grad School
  • I do not know if I have really mentioned to anyone BUT! I am in school. Inspiration behind is I intended on accomplishing this in 2014, but God had other plans for me that year. I had my daughter and put the degree on the back burner. I picked it up in the summer last year and I will complete the task this year! So far,  I have been doing great with my studies, and when the time is right, I will make moves that align with my career goals.

So far life has been great this year. I hope to cover some interesting topics on my blog, such as life or responsibility as a single mother, trying to have a fitness regimen while being a single mama, empowering yourself, and learning to go with the flow in those times that things do not go according to our plans.  Hope that someone can take my life lessons and apply them to their life.

New Year! New Goals!

Image provided by: http://www.padhokhelo.com/

 

It is a New Year! We are blessed to see another day. We are also blessed to make some new focuses and goals!

I know we all have something we are grateful for in this new year. I know I do. I have a few goals that I want to accomplish this year and I think that they are manageable I just have to put in the work. Because without works, you cannot have anything right?

Goal number 1,  To start a gratitude journal

• My goal is to write at least 5 things I am grateful for everyday. I think this will help me to be more optimistic and more faithful with the blessings and things I already have!

Goal number 2, Save Money

• I have to focus on saving more money because my future goals require capital. I want to focus on more of what I need vs more of what I want and that is to be as debt free as possible. It just will put me in a better position to have funds for the home I dream of owning one day.
• Nwo youot only does saving money help out a good home down payment, it will also benefit me to have additional funds to travel with my little. I started out doing a few challenges and one of them is the penny challenge. I can save a total of 667.00 for the year. That is basically a good flight somewhere cool or fun for me and the little to go with a little extra change left over for a fun souvenir! I have family and friends all over the United States so this would benefit me greatly to visit my loved ones.  How the penny challenge works is you save a cent a day. So day one(January 1st) you save $0.01 cent, day two save $0.02 cents and you add more cents as the year progresses. You end up with approximately $667.00. You can save backwards (start off at $3.67 and work your way down to $0.01 if that helps you) too and even up the ante to a dollar a day if you want to save let’s say $6,667.00 (WOW! Right!).
• Another way to save is to to the weekly dollar saving plan. There are 52 weeks in a year and each week you add a dollar accordingly. So week one is $1.00 and week 2 is $2.00. by the time you are done with the year you should have saved $1,378.00 which is substantial.Check it out here on how to get started with this challenge if you are interested  You can even save it backwards to save the larger amounts first and work on the smaller amounts last.

Goal number 3, To be a healthier me

• The best gift you can give your family is a mentally, spiritually, and physically fit version of yourself. A lot of people think that the physical aspect is the only thing you have to work on but no, renewing our mind, our faith, our perseverance, our peace, our personal selves is the best gift we can give to ourselves and those around us. So I plan to devote more time to praying, reading my bible, fasting if needed, and I also bought a fitbit to increase my daily activity to try to maintain the physique I am at at this point in my life.

Goal number 4, To have more peace

• I refuse to let anyone try to mess up the peace I have in my life I have learn to not be influenced by others and the emotions or actions they try to inflict in my life. Peace is priceless. I will not allow any other person’s dysfunction or disobedience to God to encroach or try to take up space in my life. God has been too good to me for me to mess up the blessings he has given me and will continue to give me in my life.

Make sure you write your goals down and have them somewhere were you can view them everyday. Also make sure you have a plan! Make sure it is obtainable! You can even go as far as tracking your progress, or creating a vision board (A modern day vision board would be Pinterest)

I have noticed on some social media sites, that there are people being critical of others for wanting to improve themselves for the better for the new year. When I see such criticism I ask those of you creating goals or writing them out socially to refer to Jeremiah 17:8 “Such trees are not bothered by the heat.” You are the tree and the opinion of others should bear no weight on your goals. Also, if you see a person trying to claim or wanting to do better for the new year and you know that they are struggling in certain areas, be that friend that encourages them when their endurance gets low. It makes a difference. You could single-handedly be the catalyst for their growth. That’s all I have to say about the berating of those with goals and dreams for the New Year.

 

What are your goals for the New Year? Feel free to share. I think 2016 is going to be an amazing year, a lot of work,but amazing nonetheless! 

Thanksgiving and the Holiday Season!

Okay so I am so late with this post! AHHH! but this Thanksgiving,

 

It was a good one. I got to see a lot of family and meet new family members! I have not seen a cousin of mine since I was about 8 years old and it was a pleasure to catch up with him and meet his lovely wife. We made plans to keep in touch as well as to visit one another sometime next year. I am always for a trip as well as bonding with family. It’s priceless!

 

My Cousin whom I have not seen since I was a small girl! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My new Cousin! SHE IS BEAUTIFUL My cousin did GOOD!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mother cooked a good feast this year and did not disappoint. She had her spread for Thanksgiving a day early for us to all spend time together effectively, since my brothers have other family to visit with their kids and such. My little one was away with her dad and of course I missed her. She was back in my arms after the Thanksgiving weekend and it was everything. She truly has my heart and I am so blessed to be her Mommy.

Hi Mommy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While she was away, I partook in black Friday shopping with my sister. She wanted a TV and I wanted a vacuum cleaner as well as a standard coffee maker and a griddle. I love to cook and the flat top is an amazing, easy to clean tool. It will be used and abused! I also found time that same night to buy a tree and begin to decorate it into the wee hours of the morning. I ended up having to go back to the store on crazy black Friday to buy more lights and ornaments! London def enjoyed the tree and loves to look at it when home. Teaching a toddler how to not touch your tree? Not as simple!

 

 

 

I also bought a fitbit and I am OBSESSED with it. I challenge people on there and it makes me want to take extra steps to the printer my car taking out the trash and working out. The fitbit is genius!

 

 

 

 

Overall I am thankful for the friends and family I have in my life. I am truly blessed and could not think of a more perfect way to celebrate the holiday!

 

I sent out my holiday cards to the family and friends and I have gotten rave reviews on my cards! I also took it upon myself to create my own cards. I purchased cardstock, went to pic monkey and created my own background and made a few post cards for the Holidays. I think that they turned out well! Who knew that I could channel my inner Shutterfly and make things happen!

 

Happy Holidays to all!

“A healthy you is the best gift you can give your family emotionally, spiritually, and 

mentally.”

-Joyce Meyer

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Hey there!

I have not posted on my blog in some time. Months actually. If you are wondering why, it was because I had nothing positive to say. Absolutely nothing. I had nothing encouraging to say because I was in need of encouragement myself. I guess you could say a part of me did not want to blog because if I were to be candid, I would be airing my dirty laundry and possibly disrupting my peace, another part of me was suffering in silence.  Those selfies I have been posting on Instagram and Facebook, well they were happy moments but deep inside I was living in hell, living in torment, and praying to God for relief of it all. I was waiting on someone to save me from the trials and tribulations I found myself in. A super hero in a cape with extra starch. Once I came to the conclusion that no one was going to save me but myself, I began to try to rebuild. I turned to the best thing I could, my spirituality. My faith. My God. I needed to lean into him more than ever in my time of need. In this turbulent moment in my life.

What was it that was tormenting me? A custody case. It has been the the thorn in my side. I tried to fake it, smile through it all. The truth. I struggled and I find myself still struggling through it. When the communication breaks down between two parents, the results can be absolutely awful. When you experience disagreement to this level, sabotage takes hold. It would give me great pleasure to find a medium and co-parent peacefully. When you are involved with someone who is emotionally driven and convinced you are an enemy, there is no way co-parenting can take place.

So, the best thing I can do is accept the things I cannot change. I accept that this is a flawed situation. I speak into existence that things will turn around and get better and we will find our channel to communicate properly. I pray that we will spend our money on our child versus our lawyers and other frivolous things that come with custody issues. I have learned, I can only control my peace, my sanity, and my actions and cannot wish, ask, or request that others comply and do the same. I must accept that things will be this way for some time. Is this what I thought parenthood would be? tumultuous? Absolutely not. I know there are no perfect formulas or magic potions to getting it right.

Overall I had to check my feelings, outside of this situation was my life happy? Absolutely. Did I have to breathe life into the situation? No. So I made a choice. To feed nothing and I mean nothing into the situation. To let the thing die. So Sunday is the only interaction that I have with my child’s Father and that is even minuscule. He is to place his daughter in her car seat and have zero interaction with me.  This is not what I envisioned co-parenting to be, but it is required to be this way for some time. I choose not to air the grievances I have with him in full detail, but I am not in high approval of his actions, and others on his behalf, because they do not benefit our daughter and her well being period. I am convinced that he is upset about something and he is seeking revenge of some sort without looking at what the cost is. You(at least for me) have to get to that pivotal point in your life where you ask, What is best for our daughter? Do I want peace, or do I want to be right? What does peace cost and what does being right cost? That is something he will have to figure out . For me I choose peace. it is free, fabulous, fantastic, and gives me life. It gives me the ability to focus on the precious time that my daughter is growing. She is learning and growing so fast. I do not want it to wiz by me and I am focused on custody issues.

Now that I am in a more positive place, I feel redeemed. Freed and I can now share the wonderful moments and accounts that I have with my daughter as well as the adventures of living life in the 30 year old lane. Life is great and short, and I intend to be intentional about living a really good life. Praise God for clarity and grace, without it I would not have been able to get to this pivotal most freeing moment in my life. My custody case is not over, hopefully the end of it is in the early part of November, but I have moved past it.

Perfectly Imperfect!

 

As my child is fast approaching her first year of amazing life, I have learned some things. I embrace all the imperfections I once thought I never would. I embrace the fact that I may hit the snooze button on my seven alarms at 6am which is when I should be walking out the door. I embrace the fact that the clothes may not get folded and put in the proper place. Who cares when they are clean! I embrace the fact that a home cooked meal may be a Tuna sandwich and chips sometimes. I set the bar pretty high for myself when I first became a Mom. See, we are all taught to do our absolute best and aim for perfection in this life (At least I was), and at first, I took this approach. It worked for my singular self and it worked very well! I had great success! Being a Mom, however, it was sustainable at first, but like most Moms finding their stride, I realized that there is so much beauty in living in the moment and not focusing on being perfect.

Perfect does not mean you did it all and achieved. Look at all the in between. I woke up late, great! I get more snuggle time with my baby girl! London blew up her diaper, yes, inconvenient! Hey! I got to bathe and look my baby in her eyes and kiss on her as I made her stinkies all fresh. I wake up with a simple prayer in my heart before she stirs, “Lord thank you for allowing me to see another day, to be a parent to my daughter, to help me to learn what appreciation is, thank you for everyone you have placed in my life and may you bless them as well as you will bless me.” These imperfect moments have taught me to be grateful for all I have and helped me focus on learning that life is richer when every little thing is appreciated. This is not to say that I do not get flustered. I have plenty of character building (Attitude adjusting) opportunities. I’ve learned from past mistakes and present victories to pray! “Lord what is it that you are wanting to teach me? What is it that I am needed to achieve to grow ?”  I have learned in this year of parenting to have an extreme appreciation for life. To not take it all for granted. At one time, I did not have the relationships, the ties, the joy that I have today. I once had no clue how happy my life could be. I found that the more I focus on God, the more enriched and blessed my life becomes, the more peace I have. My fruits are bearing some things and it took some pain to get to this place of growth. I look forward to becoming increasingly more grateful in my life as parenting is teaching me to be transparent, to be upfront and to live and embrace what I have.

Now, it was by God’s grace that I made it out the house at 6:13am with London and myself fully dressed for our day today. (Really Really though). But I sit back and I can laugh at the fact that I got out the door! Thought I would add that since it is my praise report for today! (VICTORAAAAYYYY)

A List of Things I Thought I Would Never Get Through and Did.

As my birthday approaches (I’m going to be 30!), I have a list of things I thought I would NEVER get through and I did! I’ll keep it small but detailed.

• I thought I would NEVER graduate. I mean it took me forever. Self supported, full time, multiple job having person, I just thought that I would never get to having a degree. Well it came, it was monumental, and a very proud moment in my life, and now I’m on the MBA venture (I am now having doubts of finishing that! HA!)
• I thought I would NEVER fall in love. This was my 18 year old naive self. I had declared myself Ice Queen (Elsa did not have anything on me), and I planned on staying that way, that way I couldn’t get hurt right? Right?! Wrong. Girl meets boy. Girl falls for boy. Love happened and more than a few times! I look forward to loving some wonderful man again.
• I thought I would NEVER survive childbirth. I barely did according to my cousin lol!  I survived and surprisingly cannot remember that pain just that I made some really ugly faces and loud screams when it was time for my daughter to come in the world.
• I thought I would never find my spirituality. God has a funny way of tapping you on the shoulder (pregnancy), and saying hey! You need me to find your purpose young lady. My old life is non-existent. My new life has so much meaning and purpose. I am intentional about all that I do!
• I thought I would never be nurturing. You know I was the Ice Queen after all, well just call me Queen Nurturer. I love it. I can pour my love into something (all I ever wanted to do, even in during my Ice Queen reign). No longer am I an undercover lover, I’m out and proud! My child and how I love on my friends and family is a direct result of my love overflowing.

Those are just some of the things I thought I could not overcome. What about you?

Praise Report!

Praise report!

I joined the choir! It was all by accident, but then again there are no such things as accidents, I was called to serve and I answered. I am going to be honest, I can hold a tune, but I will never claim to be in the rankings of Whitney Houston, or Mariah Carey. I am simply able to effectively hit notes. I had my first lead in singing a few weeks ago and it was great! I loved singing in front of the church and making people really express their joy for the Lord. It made me feel like I was impactful.

I also wanted to find a way to really relate with my church community. They have really been impactful and important in my life. They are there to help guide me in my spiritual quest in finding my way with God. He is awesome to have given me a place to really be able to learn how to serve, fellowship and be close with him. God is always on time. Thank YAAAA! LOL.

In baby news, my little London is now a 6 month old scooting/squealing/active grabbing machine. She has really blossomed into an active little baby! She is so fun to be around and she is always happy. We were in the store shopping for Groceries yesterday, and I had her in the carrier, because it’s far easier to just maneuver with her on me then in a bulky infant car seat. She kept bouncing indicating that she wanted me to sing and dance while she was in the carrier. Of course people who know me, know that I was up for it. I had a ton of people smiling at her and I as we walked around the store bouncing, laughing (Baby giggles), smiling, and dancing away. Boo Boo has quite a personality!

Here are some pics of me and my Lon Lon(She is starting to get quite a few nicknames)

Being an Anchor

 

I am an anchor.

It is a natural thing for me to fall into. I am a confidant, I am a psychologist, I am an open non judgmental listening ear for everyone I feel in my life needs it. It is my nature. Pouring my positive energy into people is one of my favorite most intrinsic things to do. It is a selfless job, it is great that people feel that my advice is worthy of taking into consideration, it is what makes relationships with others valuable.

What happens if I need to be anchored? My ship ties decide to become loose, and I sway in an uncharted direction? Who helps pull me back to the dock? Lately, I have felt like I was finding myself  swaying in uncharted waters. I am human, it is only natural that I have some feelings of “What direction do I go to next?” Well, I guess I have to take some of that good ole advice that I dish out (Which is really hard to do btw).

This portion of my life has put me in touch with a lot of my emotions. I placed a wall up at some point in my life where my emotions, my human feelings were there, but I had a mask on to the entire world. I have a tendency to place my emotions and feelings on things on the back burner to not cause conflict. Also so I don’t look like some “emotional” or “sensitive” person. “It IS okay to be human.”  is something I have had to tell myself, it is okay to have some conflicts. You have to learn that you matter as well, even if people expect you to go along with something unrealistic.

I really learned that my emotions matter when I had my baby. She was my wake up call to show, you still feel, you are not emotionless inside, and it is perfectly fine to feel that way outwardly. Your emotions do matter. So in essence, my baby girl has helped me stand up a lot more for what I feel is right. Now, by no means will I go overboard with it, but I need to make sure that others do not try to mess up my peace. Being vulnerable is the beauty of being human. It can hurt sometimes, but it comes along with the process. It is the key to finding your joy.

I am learning that I can pour into those, as well I can anchor them. I just need to make sure when I pour I consider myself too. Isn’t the maturation process amazing? Going through it, you certainly do not think so, but reflecting, there is indeed beauty in it.

 

 

Photocred:http://cruelkev2.blogspot.com/2009/12/ships-anchor-cuts-cable-between-la.html via google

Getting back in the groove of it all

Hey guys!

I am finally officially off of maternity leave. I took 8 weeks off to spend time with my precious little girl and I enjoyed every minute. Now that I am back at work as of Monday, I am officially a working mother. It is bittersweet. I love to work, productive days are what I live for, but I love being a mother, being there for every waking moment for my child. I can see why tons of women do not come back to work. I probably would not be one of those women. I have a few things career wise that I HAVE to accomplish. If I set out a goal, I hold myself accountable to finish it. I am not faulting stay at home moms or those who decide they need more time with a new baby, but I know that I would always have that “what if?” in my head. So back to the grind it is.

Challenges I am having at the moment is finding time to work out, and just get some things done. Having a little one and being a single mother has proven to be a challenge, but I am learning that I am no wonder woman and as long as I have a plan and try to accomplish two things in a day vs 10-15, that I will be okay. Eventually I will be able to accomplish more, but baby steps are required at the moment.

In baby news my little one will be 2 months officially on Friday. Time is flying. She can hold her neck up pretty well, and has some good  movement, is following objects very well, and she is very alert. She startles easily. She has just begun to coo and smile when you smile at her and it is so joyous to experience. I love it. Motherhood is bliss.

 

That’s all for my update! I look forward to blogging about my Mommy/Challenges/Workouts/Life adventures on a more consistent basis.

Post Baby Body

I know  that most women do not post
their post baby bodies,  but I will. Yes, I have stretchmarks and yes, my   linea nigra still present (dark line down your belly you can get while pregnant), but I want to tell you,  working out pre baby, and eating well, and breast feeding post baby really works. I could have really had an awesome post baby body, had I worked out during my pregnancy, but I did not. I am happy to say I lost all but 4lbs of my baby weight and my post baby body is leaner, my waist has shrunk tremendously. 

Eating when you are a Mom happens anywhere lol

I didn5 get stretchmarks until 36 weeks

Having a baby can be complicated,  especially when you are induced, and your epidural gives out during labor. Fun times. I commend any woman who had a natural delivery. It is NOT for the weary.  But the joy you recieve from bringing life in this world is something I just cannot put into words. My transition from a singular person to a woman with a child was seamless. I was “built for this” in the words of my child’s father. Here is my little bundle of joy, London Paige. WARNING! She is absolutely adorable!

She is one month old as of recent and we are both learning the ins and outs of eachother and breast feeding.  It’s awesome to give your child nourishment and watch them grow. It’s something a bond that only me and my little one share. All smiles.