February Book Reviews

Passing by Nella Larsen

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

This book was very thought provoking when it comes to the level of melanin and features we have. How some black people were able to pass for other or white and be racially ambiguous during a time of segregation. As a black woman, this gave me really mixed, thought provoking feelings.

Reading from Irene’s perspective of her frenemy, Clare, the book gives us a look into this world in between. Nella has us look into Irene, and how she navigated through her world as a black woman full and transparent. The life she lived was not as glamourous as she made it appear. She reconnected with a childhood friend, ironically in an all white section, and had to decide if she wanted a relationship or not. It seems she did. Irene had to also come to terms with Clare’s influence on her social life, her family life, her jealousy and her realization of her husbands affair with her friend. It is interesting that she also found a way to pass in the segregated world, but when her friend Clare did it, it was egregious. The ending is left open and I must say I love it. I highly recommend this read, if you are into historical fiction. It really makes me want to know more about the world of “passing”.

Honor by Thrity Umrigar

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Honor is a powerful book that will leave you with many feelings of empathy.

Smita, an Indian American journalist is asked a favor from another journalist friend to take over her story about a woman who was the victim of a tribal custom that was inhumane. The book will pul you in almost immediately. You have been warned. Thrity gives us a view from a Hindi – Indian perspective, as well as a perspective of how Muslim – Indians are treated. We are allowed to understand the views from modern India, and in villages. This story was deeply moving, and disturbing all at the same time. The scenes are worth reading through, and understanding what Honor or “Abru” means for Indians.
I was not expecting the twist about Smita, but the author Thrity was eloquent in unwrapping Smita’s past with India. Although unexpected for our main character Smita, this trip was both cleansing and full of love in spite of the anguish the characters witness and endure.

Book Reviews

I’ve always done book reviews, but never really for a group or anything. Well last year, I set an intention on joining a book club. You see I have always and I mean always loved reading. My amazon kindle has hoards of books that I need to read. My average book reads a year is 15-25. So you can say ,it was natural I wanted to find a place to discuss my book readings.

I secretly would follow the Oprah Book club. That led me to the B&N book club, which led me to Hello Sunshine Reads. These are all phenomenal read groups btw, and I still mostly follow a few of them. But I wanted a more melanated feel for my books, and I found Mocha Girls Read. AH! A place that not only read a vast genre of books like myself, but also readers looked like me! SUCESS! You guys know that wasn’t enough, I wanted a book club I could go to in Houston, and the ones that are out there were there, I just did not know how to find them. So alas! Mocha Girls Read created an online chapter! I am so happy I joined, not only have I found a home, I have found a place to do my reviews! I now have an Instagram page dedicated to my reads called @shoedooo.reads ! Feel free to follow me, I will use it to post reviews what I am reading and follow various readers/authors/lovers of books (not just the melanated ones). I also post my reviews on Goodreads as well. So stay tuned to me posting my reviews here!

Bookclubs I secretly and not so secretly follow:

• Reese’s Book Club

• B&N Book Club
• Mocha Girls Read – Online Chapter
• RH Reading Between the Vines
• SWLTRT Bookclub
• Smart Brown Girl Book Club

If you read, what are some club or groups that you know of? Comment below!

Heels, Books, and Planners

I have worn heels! It was one of my goals for 2019 was to wear heels again and I did that.

Now, wearing heels after a knee surgery is an anxiety filled experience, but it can be done. I have been working very hard on rebuilding the muscles around my knee with a regimen of cardio intervals on the treadmill, leg press, and some lunges, and glute exercises. I have my lunch break to achieve all of these moves 3-4 times a week and so far, I have really committed myself to it.

So I am a Happy Planner girl and I enjoy decorating/filling my planner up with many things. I am a visual person and enjoy crafting and sprucing up my planner to make it unique.

I used a template made for an Erin Condren Planner from Victoriathatcher.com and made it my own!

I mainly use it to keep myself accountable for the goals I set out for the week as well as remember things when they need to be remembered. What is in my planner besides roses, dogs, or random themed stickers are:

• Cleaning list – My house is a whole maintenance job within itself. I did not realize that there is more to a home than equity and paying the mortgage. LOL There is dusting, washing windows, changing out things, and making sure that it looks good. It is a full time job!
• What’s for Dinner? – Guys I have a meal calendar for what I am cooking for the week. It really helps me in the store when I am grocery shopping and helps me save money through the week by packing my lunch.
• Birthdays, Holidays, Doctor Appointments – Life SAVER. I mean, between the meetings and various projects I manage at work, my short term memory needs all the help it can get. It helps me stay on track.
• Book List – I have a book list inside of my planner. I am an avid reader and I can read anywhere between 2-5 books in a month, depending on what is on my plate. I love using my imagination and books serve me well in that department. I decided I wanted to keep track of what I was reading just to get a tally of how many books I will read this year.

Planner template was brought to you by https://momenvy.co/bookroo-review/

Overall, I am a planner, but life will get in the way of your plans and you have to find a way to smile when things decide to rearranges the idea in your head. My goal is no matter how far off the path life decides to take me, by me writing down my goals and plans, it makes me intentional on achieving them REGARDLESS of any hurdles.

Do you have a planner? If you do please share? If not tell me how you do it all!

2018 So Far

I’M LATE POSTING THIS BECAUSE LIFE!!

There are a few things that I intended on accomplishing this year. I have a list! (The real question is, when do I not have a list?!)

• Create a Savings Plan
  • I am using the Dave Ramsey methods, and I recommend his book Total Money Make over and the use of his envelope system. This is where you get your power back when it comes to spending and saving money! 

 

• I also upped my 52 weeks savings plan from just saving by what week it was in the year to attempting to take the 5,000.00 52 week money challenge. We will see how this will work out this year. I have faith! If you want to follow it is never too late to save a dollar and some!

 

• Be more committed to fitness
  • I now work out 4-5 times a week. I typically only can dedicate one hour to fitness in my day and I make sure It is worth it. I have a plan and a purpose. I just want to make sure that heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases are kept at bay. I also want legs like I had when I was in track. It is going to happen people! I joke with my friends all the time about how I want to look like edible arraignments LOL. Now even some of them are jumping on that whole snack bandwagon!
  • I follow some pretty inspiring people on the “Gram” @FitfoodieLe @FollowtheLita @MassyArias are a few people who I am truly inspired by. I feel like they offer something I can truly benefit and can learn from.
  • I plan to run 5 or more 5k runs this year as well.
• Utilize my power in saying No
  • *big sigh* Hi, my name is Sharde and I am a person who seems to over commit myself to everything. I am the go – to in my family, friends, and many others because, well my heart is that big. I sometimes forget about myself in that equation like, how am I going to be at two birthday parties that start within 30 minutes of each other? I have learned to send a “I can’t make it” Or a firm no with zero explanations. I feel empowered and like I am taking care of myself when I use the word no. There has to be a recharge period for me and a reset. If I do not take care of me, how will I be useful to anyone else.
• Graduate Grad School
  • I do not know if I have really mentioned to anyone BUT! I am in school. Inspiration behind is I intended on accomplishing this in 2014, but God had other plans for me that year. I had my daughter and put the degree on the back burner. I picked it up in the summer last year and I will complete the task this year! So far,  I have been doing great with my studies, and when the time is right, I will make moves that align with my career goals.

So far life has been great this year. I hope to cover some interesting topics on my blog, such as life or responsibility as a single mother, trying to have a fitness regimen while being a single mama, empowering yourself, and learning to go with the flow in those times that things do not go according to our plans.  Hope that someone can take my life lessons and apply them to their life.

New Hair Who Dis?

 

New hair who dis?

I cut my hair into a short pixie hair style. My stylist at Fab the Salon has done it again. She does amazing work and has worked with me being difficult as a client. I am very particular because I wear my real hair and I have been victimized by a previous stylist who was scissor happy but she did that! You can check out her work on Instagram and her website here.

Over all I feel it encompasses my personality. I’m sassy, spicy, energetic, and positive. I have been working on my fitness goals and I am conditioning myself to try to run a 5k with ease. I have come to that point in my life where no pain no gain and nutritional balance is a must. So far I am doing really well.

 

I have been using the Couch 2 5k app and I love it. It is not that demanding and is slowly conditioning me to breathe properly watch my form and run comfortably. The only concern I have is my hair! Once I figure out how to maintain it in between salon visits I should be good. Working out is a must and pretty hair is also mandatory. What is a girl to do?

 

In baby news, London is saying and repeating words so very clear now. I cannot believe how big she is growing! I love that she is learning about her world and i am there to witness her do it. It’s such a blessing ya’ll.In maturity and growth news. Letting things go that are not in your control and giving it all to God is a HARD thing to do when you are a control freak. We all like to think we have some sense of control, right. Control can mean security. But I have realized in my walk and my experiences that faith in God and Jesus eases that worry, eases that anxiety and I mean on any topic. You just have to get into the habit of casting all cares on him. That has been my best ally in this life. Because I want to have a good life. In order to have a good life (Not to be confused with perfect) I have to place my faith in things working out the way God wants them to and not to my human and flesh expectations. Forgiveness and love wins always. New Personal Growth who dis?! LOL

 

I hope that those who read my blog can find my words and my experiences I share to encourage them in times of need or give them that push that they need to make it through the day. Adjust those pretty crowns and walk like the Queen you are. God does not make mistakes and he believes in his work. So you are perfection in his eyes. Until the next update!

 

Things I’m Doing This Week

The things us parents do,

 

I normally do so much in just one day, hour even week, I honestly look back at things and say to myself how on earth do I accomplish doing all of this?! I just do.

It is Valentine’s week and before when I was not a parent, all I wanted was romance (Who doesn’t like their significant other to show them some love?!). In addition to the singular version of V-day, I now also now have to include my little one into that mix. Including her to me means that I like to dress her up and send out cards to the masses.  So that involves some minor planning. I do not know if I can top last years card. I mean it was pretty ca-yute!

 

 

See. this is going to be tough.

This year I decided to make a card myself and take cute pictures but my little toddler would not comply! I opted to use an old photo and make my own card.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My sister thought that this little creation was so good, that she suggested I start a small business and make invitations and such.Possibly! On top of that, most schools and daycares are big on V-day so, there is a teacher gift as well as kiddo gifts (candy) involved. Since my little one is a toddler I wanted to incorporate a Toddler friendly inexpensive Valentines environment.

I decided to create a vision of sorts of course for Valentines day and that for me requires a vision board. My form of a vision board is Pinterest. It’s free and FULL of creative ideas. If I want to bring an idea to life, chances are Pinterest can help me find the tools and resources to bring it to life. It is seriously the best! So on my baby board (I think that I should create a toddler board at this point because my baby is no longer a baby anymore *sniffles*) I pinned a few ideas.

Teacher Love

 

 

For the daycare instructors, because they are the best, and take care of my love all day, I like to show them appreciation. So I decided to give them some flavored lip balm and print out this item on card stock. I found the idea on Pinterest via the Simple As That Blog  just in case you want to snag this idea and use it for yourself!

I also pinned some pretty cool ideas for Toddler V-day ideas. I am not a fan of giving my little one candy, due to the high content in sugar as well as the majority of candy being a choking hazard. So I opted to give out squeezable Apple Sauce packs. This is what the finished products will look like for her class:

Toddler Valentines Gifts

 

I found this wonderful free Printable (Applesauce not included lol) at the Funky Polkadot Giraffe Blog. To us Toddler moms this is epic! I love this idea! It’s perfect it’s not messy like cupcakes and not a choking hazard! It’s also extremely COST EFFECTIVE. So London will have about 5 Main Squeezes this year. I think her teachers will love me!  Her TEACHERS LOVED IT!!!!!

They also made me this for her. It was so wonderful!

 

 

I will be def putting this little gem up in my home!

So this is what I am working on on top of other things. I also have to carve out time to spend with God, Choir Practice, Working out, Working, Cooking, Cleaning, Dog-Momming, Personal Life, and watching TV! Whew Can I do it? YES. And if it doesn’t all get done? Pray to God to help me prioritize my life. God has it all and I go to him for EVERYTHING!  Take Care loves!

New Year! New Goals!

Image provided by: http://www.padhokhelo.com/

 

It is a New Year! We are blessed to see another day. We are also blessed to make some new focuses and goals!

I know we all have something we are grateful for in this new year. I know I do. I have a few goals that I want to accomplish this year and I think that they are manageable I just have to put in the work. Because without works, you cannot have anything right?

Goal number 1,  To start a gratitude journal

• My goal is to write at least 5 things I am grateful for everyday. I think this will help me to be more optimistic and more faithful with the blessings and things I already have!

Goal number 2, Save Money

• I have to focus on saving more money because my future goals require capital. I want to focus on more of what I need vs more of what I want and that is to be as debt free as possible. It just will put me in a better position to have funds for the home I dream of owning one day.
• Nwo youot only does saving money help out a good home down payment, it will also benefit me to have additional funds to travel with my little. I started out doing a few challenges and one of them is the penny challenge. I can save a total of 667.00 for the year. That is basically a good flight somewhere cool or fun for me and the little to go with a little extra change left over for a fun souvenir! I have family and friends all over the United States so this would benefit me greatly to visit my loved ones.  How the penny challenge works is you save a cent a day. So day one(January 1st) you save $0.01 cent, day two save $0.02 cents and you add more cents as the year progresses. You end up with approximately $667.00. You can save backwards (start off at $3.67 and work your way down to $0.01 if that helps you) too and even up the ante to a dollar a day if you want to save let’s say $6,667.00 (WOW! Right!).
• Another way to save is to to the weekly dollar saving plan. There are 52 weeks in a year and each week you add a dollar accordingly. So week one is $1.00 and week 2 is $2.00. by the time you are done with the year you should have saved $1,378.00 which is substantial.Check it out here on how to get started with this challenge if you are interested  You can even save it backwards to save the larger amounts first and work on the smaller amounts last.

Goal number 3, To be a healthier me

• The best gift you can give your family is a mentally, spiritually, and physically fit version of yourself. A lot of people think that the physical aspect is the only thing you have to work on but no, renewing our mind, our faith, our perseverance, our peace, our personal selves is the best gift we can give to ourselves and those around us. So I plan to devote more time to praying, reading my bible, fasting if needed, and I also bought a fitbit to increase my daily activity to try to maintain the physique I am at at this point in my life.

Goal number 4, To have more peace

• I refuse to let anyone try to mess up the peace I have in my life I have learn to not be influenced by others and the emotions or actions they try to inflict in my life. Peace is priceless. I will not allow any other person’s dysfunction or disobedience to God to encroach or try to take up space in my life. God has been too good to me for me to mess up the blessings he has given me and will continue to give me in my life.

Make sure you write your goals down and have them somewhere were you can view them everyday. Also make sure you have a plan! Make sure it is obtainable! You can even go as far as tracking your progress, or creating a vision board (A modern day vision board would be Pinterest)

I have noticed on some social media sites, that there are people being critical of others for wanting to improve themselves for the better for the new year. When I see such criticism I ask those of you creating goals or writing them out socially to refer to Jeremiah 17:8 “Such trees are not bothered by the heat.” You are the tree and the opinion of others should bear no weight on your goals. Also, if you see a person trying to claim or wanting to do better for the new year and you know that they are struggling in certain areas, be that friend that encourages them when their endurance gets low. It makes a difference. You could single-handedly be the catalyst for their growth. That’s all I have to say about the berating of those with goals and dreams for the New Year.

 

What are your goals for the New Year? Feel free to share. I think 2016 is going to be an amazing year, a lot of work,but amazing nonetheless! 

Thanksgiving and the Holiday Season!

Okay so I am so late with this post! AHHH! but this Thanksgiving,

 

It was a good one. I got to see a lot of family and meet new family members! I have not seen a cousin of mine since I was about 8 years old and it was a pleasure to catch up with him and meet his lovely wife. We made plans to keep in touch as well as to visit one another sometime next year. I am always for a trip as well as bonding with family. It’s priceless!

 

My Cousin whom I have not seen since I was a small girl! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My new Cousin! SHE IS BEAUTIFUL My cousin did GOOD!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mother cooked a good feast this year and did not disappoint. She had her spread for Thanksgiving a day early for us to all spend time together effectively, since my brothers have other family to visit with their kids and such. My little one was away with her dad and of course I missed her. She was back in my arms after the Thanksgiving weekend and it was everything. She truly has my heart and I am so blessed to be her Mommy.

Hi Mommy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While she was away, I partook in black Friday shopping with my sister. She wanted a TV and I wanted a vacuum cleaner as well as a standard coffee maker and a griddle. I love to cook and the flat top is an amazing, easy to clean tool. It will be used and abused! I also found time that same night to buy a tree and begin to decorate it into the wee hours of the morning. I ended up having to go back to the store on crazy black Friday to buy more lights and ornaments! London def enjoyed the tree and loves to look at it when home. Teaching a toddler how to not touch your tree? Not as simple!

 

 

 

I also bought a fitbit and I am OBSESSED with it. I challenge people on there and it makes me want to take extra steps to the printer my car taking out the trash and working out. The fitbit is genius!

 

 

 

 

Overall I am thankful for the friends and family I have in my life. I am truly blessed and could not think of a more perfect way to celebrate the holiday!

 

I sent out my holiday cards to the family and friends and I have gotten rave reviews on my cards! I also took it upon myself to create my own cards. I purchased cardstock, went to pic monkey and created my own background and made a few post cards for the Holidays. I think that they turned out well! Who knew that I could channel my inner Shutterfly and make things happen!

 

Happy Holidays to all!

Happy Holidays!

Hope you all had a great start to the week,

I sort of did. This was my weekend with the little and I made the most of it. She goes with her dad for an extended period of time and I will miss her dearly. Last Friday, we had our Christmas/Mommy-daughter shoot! I like to send out personal holiday cards and I also needed to have some professional photos for this year, and my wonderful photographer, Jerren Willis came through! He always has done amazing work. He has taken my graduation photos, my family photos, my maternity photos, newborn photos, you name it! He is an on location photographer and is great to work with. I always recommend him to Houston Locals. Check out his latest work:

 

My Holiday card’s are going to be poppin! I went for a lumberjack/chic look in these photos. I can’t tell you where I get my ideas from they just happen, and Pinterest also helps me pin things to my board that I am looking for. The matching Fringe boots are from Kohl’s. They had a massive sale a couple of weeks ago on boots and I cashed in! My boots are SO® Women’s Fringe Boots ($47.99)size 10 and London’s boots are Jumping Beans Girls’ Fringe Boots ($23.99) size 5 toddler. The black boots are from Target, who also had a massive sale on boots! Mine are Women’s Estelle Riding Boots – Merona™ size 10 ($22.35) and London’s are Toddler Girl’s Quilted Fashion Boots – Black size ($16.95) . Our shirts are from Walmart! Her’s was $5.00 size 12 month in boy, and mine was in the junior section for $10.00! We were definitely winning on this outfit!

I’m also back in the gym this week, well for life lol, because I no longer have the benefits of being a mom who breastfeeds. I breastfed for one full year and the benefits were, I could not keep any weight on! Now, however, the poundage is back and if I want to stay in the weight lane I am in, I will have to work for it. Plus you know the benefit of working out is energy and overall health longevity. So I’m back in the gym starting off with fasted cardio and weights. They have an amazing gym at my job, and awesome instructors. I can’t lose!

Hope everyone has a blessed week! Take care!

“A healthy you is the best gift you can give your family emotionally, spiritually, and 

mentally.”

-Joyce Meyer

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Hey there!

I have not posted on my blog in some time. Months actually. If you are wondering why, it was because I had nothing positive to say. Absolutely nothing. I had nothing encouraging to say because I was in need of encouragement myself. I guess you could say a part of me did not want to blog because if I were to be candid, I would be airing my dirty laundry and possibly disrupting my peace, another part of me was suffering in silence.  Those selfies I have been posting on Instagram and Facebook, well they were happy moments but deep inside I was living in hell, living in torment, and praying to God for relief of it all. I was waiting on someone to save me from the trials and tribulations I found myself in. A super hero in a cape with extra starch. Once I came to the conclusion that no one was going to save me but myself, I began to try to rebuild. I turned to the best thing I could, my spirituality. My faith. My God. I needed to lean into him more than ever in my time of need. In this turbulent moment in my life.

What was it that was tormenting me? A custody case. It has been the the thorn in my side. I tried to fake it, smile through it all. The truth. I struggled and I find myself still struggling through it. When the communication breaks down between two parents, the results can be absolutely awful. When you experience disagreement to this level, sabotage takes hold. It would give me great pleasure to find a medium and co-parent peacefully. When you are involved with someone who is emotionally driven and convinced you are an enemy, there is no way co-parenting can take place.

So, the best thing I can do is accept the things I cannot change. I accept that this is a flawed situation. I speak into existence that things will turn around and get better and we will find our channel to communicate properly. I pray that we will spend our money on our child versus our lawyers and other frivolous things that come with custody issues. I have learned, I can only control my peace, my sanity, and my actions and cannot wish, ask, or request that others comply and do the same. I must accept that things will be this way for some time. Is this what I thought parenthood would be? tumultuous? Absolutely not. I know there are no perfect formulas or magic potions to getting it right.

Overall I had to check my feelings, outside of this situation was my life happy? Absolutely. Did I have to breathe life into the situation? No. So I made a choice. To feed nothing and I mean nothing into the situation. To let the thing die. So Sunday is the only interaction that I have with my child’s Father and that is even minuscule. He is to place his daughter in her car seat and have zero interaction with me.  This is not what I envisioned co-parenting to be, but it is required to be this way for some time. I choose not to air the grievances I have with him in full detail, but I am not in high approval of his actions, and others on his behalf, because they do not benefit our daughter and her well being period. I am convinced that he is upset about something and he is seeking revenge of some sort without looking at what the cost is. You(at least for me) have to get to that pivotal point in your life where you ask, What is best for our daughter? Do I want peace, or do I want to be right? What does peace cost and what does being right cost? That is something he will have to figure out . For me I choose peace. it is free, fabulous, fantastic, and gives me life. It gives me the ability to focus on the precious time that my daughter is growing. She is learning and growing so fast. I do not want it to wiz by me and I am focused on custody issues.

Now that I am in a more positive place, I feel redeemed. Freed and I can now share the wonderful moments and accounts that I have with my daughter as well as the adventures of living life in the 30 year old lane. Life is great and short, and I intend to be intentional about living a really good life. Praise God for clarity and grace, without it I would not have been able to get to this pivotal most freeing moment in my life. My custody case is not over, hopefully the end of it is in the early part of November, but I have moved past it.