Well I made it another year,
I left all of my difficulties that I was having in 2014. 2014 was a great year, and also a true learning experience when it came to who I was emotionally. I learned that my heart could swell more than I could imagine for my child, I learned that my heart is still compassionate, that I still could care about other individuals other than myself. That is in terms of friends and family that have really been there to help me with my transition from being just one individual to a mother. In 2014, I found that my connection with God grew. That I need God to center my life, I am learning to trust his timing and his will and to not look at my life plan that I want when I want it. I learned that that is how you block blessings. I have learned to emotionally let go of what I cannot control, to understand that the picture in my head of how my life is supposed to be does not align with what God wants for me, and also, what my reality is. Focusing on his will and timing is key to peace. I have learned to accept my reality and that truly took, prayer, reading the bible, and talking it out to come to that conclusion.
I’ve learned that I must stand up for myself, no matter what or who persecutes me , that I have a voice and it matters too. I have learned to say no, and saying no for me is very difficult. I am learning saying no to someone can truly show who they are. I have also learned to edit myself and not to be as descriptive, that no matter how hard I try to explain how good or honest my intentions are, that there are those who just want to argue, or are committed to misunderstanding me.
2014 also showed me that I am strong, strong as hell. Most people would cry with some of the things that have been thrown at me. I mean the kitchen sink, the washer and dryer, everything you can imagine has tried to test me. I have learned not to react emotionally, that although my feelings are important and are valid, that my child comes before all of that and nothing will ever compromise that. I have learned that I am a Mama Bear in every essence, that my child will bring out the protective instincts that a mother has and is very surprising but a very powerful force to be reckoned with.
I have also learned that my purpose and my child’s purpose in others lives is to enrich it and make it better, but it is up to those people to be open to accepting blessings or blocking them. That my child is here to center and grow my life as well as her other parent. I have learned that the whole idea of how a family should look like in my head might not be my path, but a blended family may be my destination.
I have grown, and I have so much more growing to do and with God, and growing my faith in him and learning to be a good example of a woman to my daughter and focusing on those things, will make for a really good life. 2014 was good, but something tells me that 2015 is going to be amazing. My tests, trials, and tribulations will continue, but as long as I look to my faith and surround myself with people who want to see me succeed and will tell me when I am making mistakes to help me see what is more important, then I cannot lose.I have some goals for 2015 and they are already being worked on. Growing my faith, being the best mother I can be, focusing on being happy for what I do have, being joyful, encouraging others, being me! Oh and fabulous hair!
How do you think 2015 will be to you?