I am an anchor.
It is a natural thing for me to fall into. I am a confidant, I am a psychologist, I am an open non judgmental listening ear for everyone I feel in my life needs it. It is my nature. Pouring my positive energy into people is one of my favorite most intrinsic things to do. It is a selfless job, it is great that people feel that my advice is worthy of taking into consideration, it is what makes relationships with others valuable.
What happens if I need to be anchored? My ship ties decide to become loose, and I sway in an uncharted direction? Who helps pull me back to the dock? Lately, I have felt like I was finding myself swaying in uncharted waters. I am human, it is only natural that I have some feelings of “What direction do I go to next?” Well, I guess I have to take some of that good ole advice that I dish out (Which is really hard to do btw).
This portion of my life has put me in touch with a lot of my emotions. I placed a wall up at some point in my life where my emotions, my human feelings were there, but I had a mask on to the entire world. I have a tendency to place my emotions and feelings on things on the back burner to not cause conflict. Also so I don’t look like some “emotional” or “sensitive” person. “It IS okay to be human.” is something I have had to tell myself, it is okay to have some conflicts. You have to learn that you matter as well, even if people expect you to go along with something unrealistic.
I really learned that my emotions matter when I had my baby. She was my wake up call to show, you still feel, you are not emotionless inside, and it is perfectly fine to feel that way outwardly. Your emotions do matter. So in essence, my baby girl has helped me stand up a lot more for what I feel is right. Now, by no means will I go overboard with it, but I need to make sure that others do not try to mess up my peace. Being vulnerable is the beauty of being human. It can hurt sometimes, but it comes along with the process. It is the key to finding your joy.
I am learning that I can pour into those, as well I can anchor them. I just need to make sure when I pour I consider myself too. Isn’t the maturation process amazing? Going through it, you certainly do not think so, but reflecting, there is indeed beauty in it.
Photocred:http://cruelkev2.blogspot.com/2009/12/ships-anchor-cuts-cable-between-la.html via google
3 thoughts on “Being an Anchor”
I relate to this. I definitely went through a time when I kept up a harden exterior and when it came time to let my walls down I found it incredibly difficult. But you’re right, emotions are good, as long you don’t let them control you.
Yes, then you can be lead down a road of self destruction and we all don’t want that. We are just trying to be the best versions of ourselves. At least that is my aim.
Very well written! I can relate to this a lot.